Being human

I was in a hot shower after a long day at the hospital when I started thinking about how those people excel in life.  How they are living my dream when I am only part-way achieving it. How they in all aspects are men and women of steel when I am anything but refined. But then I realize they are human. Like me, they are born with a death sentence. They are part of a life cycle where the mightiest will fall, the highest mountains will level and the deepest oceans will run dry. The world was never made for anything permanent.

I've seen many old patients in my lifetime. At first glance they look the same: old, gray, wrinkled faces, gnarled hands and leathery skin. But some of them may have been multi-millionaire CEOs, others ex-commanding veterans in WWII, or leading Russian scientists. They were once an indestructible pillar of success, and yet here they are seated in the waiting room like everybody else. Just the other day I saw Batman: The Dark Knight Returns. The caped crusader returns to fight crime 20 years later and is punished heavily for a simple crime of being human. I'm sure Bruce Wayne agrees that ageing is such a horrible thing. Creaking joints, brittle bones, worn-out muscles. We don't deserve this for shit we go through!

I like to think research is our answer to mortality. Right now the focus is primarily extending life (or quality of life for that matter) which indirectly allows billions of people to enjoy their fruits of success just a bit longer. I'm sure anyone would be grateful for that. 500 years from now, I guarantee everything would be jam-packed with anti-oxidants so much that we may have created an armada of superhumans. So I digress.

My point is that being human is such a mystery. One moment we are at our pinnacle of success, and next thing we know we are on a slippery slope to our graves. More often than not, we are tempted to glance over other people's lives and grow less content with our own. We are jealous of others' successes, distraught over our failures and worrisome of the future. I came to thinking, if we are distracted with so much negative thoughts, when will we actually consider ourselves successful and happy? When we are 90 years old and dying? Life is that sad once you've been thinking in the showers long enough. Over the years, I've planned for a successful future in my head which in fact is doomed for failure. The dream (like many others') is to live a comfortable life, to be the best doctor, husband, son, grandson, father; and own a big house, and expensive cars etc. I realize that many of these are not my own because they are what is considered "successful" and "happiness" by others, not me.

Look at the world today. People now willingly move across the country in pursuit of THEIR happiness and dreams. I remember a TED speaker on youtube who talked about how she traversed the North Korean border to help her family escape desolate conditions. They are simply inspirational. They are not afraid to take risks and tackle Life head-on. These people are content in being successful and happy in their own terms. All it takes is a bit of courage and determination, yet I wonder why so many of us humans miss out on our happy endings.

"Man [is surprising]. Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money. then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived."
~ Dalai Lama, when asked about what surprised him most about humanity.